You know what they say about paybacks?

 You know what they say about paybacks right? They are a mofo. And a mofo to watch. I spent the last 18 years letting the same man hurt me over and over. In many different ways. Like a dog, kept coming back to my vomit. Cause I apparently like vomit. I loved him way more than he loved me and I put up with way too much from him over the years and have everlasting scars. Scars that may never heal. 

I am now bearing witness, as a spectate, to him being in the exact same situation, but in reverse. He is running back again and again, and yet again to the same woman who has clearly shown him that she doesn’t love him. Yet he keeps taking her back over and over. It is really quite sad to watch on the other side. He is clearly getting natures payback. Payback for not letting me go sooner, for giving me just enough to hang on hoping for more, knowing that he didn't love me, and I was just convenient.  Suddenly, he has turned into a convenience, and I find myself feeling bad for him, being a little bit like, " karma happens", while also being super embarrassed that I kept going back.  I looked real stupid, and now he does too.  

The difference between he and I though, is that nobody but a couple people knew about the times I wanted to leave and had everything set up minus that down payment and contract signed on a new place.  The whole town and half the internet knows about their shenanigans. Turns out, paybacks are big kind of mofo.